Review: Alundra

Too bad I didn't play this game to completion. One measly hour is really all I needed.

Imagine.

You are a single, hardworking mom. The year is 1997. You just bought your son the most rad kickin' system in town. You fought all those other bitches on Black Friday and you brought home the gold. You scored a Playstation 1.

The only thing is: He wants the new Legend of Zelda game.

Have no fear. Your friendly neighborhood game store service man is here to help. "Do not fear" he reiterates, "why don't you try Alundra. It is like Zelda but way better and awesome!"

That's three of your son's favorite things. Awesome, better, and way.


Game Play
VERY much like Legend of Zelda. E and I are big RPG collectors so I figured the usual - maybe some amnesia, some random or on screen battles. But no, it's a typical hack n slash. Alundra can do funny things like run in place with the triangle button, but the controls are fairly uncomplicated and simplistic. Almost too much so. And as for your "menu" and item selection? Nonexistent. You can equip an item into a slot and use it until it runs out. Really not all that interesting or worth delving into.

Story
You are a Dreamwalker. A noble title that gets you all on a boat and being called a pussy by fat drunken sailors. Nevermind that when you do hit the village? You're just sent into THE DREAM WORLD!!!~~~~~ to rescue some old man who will probably die the next day from cardiac arrest. Hmm..different worlds...Light and Dark world would you say?

Graphics
Your standard Playstation era graphics. Beautiful sprites. Glitchy areas though. The character face sprites though? A little creepy.

Sound
The music was probably the most interesting part of this game. It was very eclectic, even a little strange and unfitting in parts. At least it was bearable.

Overall
This is your standard Zelda clone. I'm not even a Zelda "fan" but when I open up a chest with a red diamond enclosed in a white diamond that gives me another life bar? Really? Not to mention the hack and slash aspect and the enemies resembling all too well the familiar Chu Chus from every Zelda game ever. If you're going to take on such a bold task as trying to be very similar to another or even "reinvent" it, you should make it immaculate.

FINAL SCORE: 2 (Mediocre)

It could very well be that Alundra just isn't my type of game. I had coveted it for years because of all the great reviews I had read - and I'm a collector. But less than an hour into it and I was bored out of my mind. E was falling asleep on the couch even. If we wanted to play Zelda, we would. I was hoping at least the story would pick up, but it didn't. There was no central plot, no reason for Alundra doing anything.

Second Opinion

No seriously, I want to be wrong about this game being a total bore just so I can get away with getting my money back on the secondary market. I guess there are a lot of people out there who love to cut the hell out of some bushes but are allergic to, I dunno, fresh air and sunlight. If this is you, let me tell you, this is your game: they even somehow managed to genetically mutate the local species of shrub so that it grows back the instant it leaves your sight. No joke!

Or maybe it's just boring because we're playing it on the PS3 and somehow all the fun got lost in emulation.