We have a philosophy in our house and it's called the Twilight Zone. It's the point at which an item of media becomes irreparably bad, named after the moment in the first Twilight film wherein the vampire love interest steps into direct sunlight and, rather than burst into flames and let forth a scream so primal and so tortured that all nearby are deafened by its pure black evil, he fucking sparkles.
No, I'm not going to justify or explain myself on why I've seen Twilight. It's beside the point.
Final Fantasy 5 is getting extremely close to that point as I type this. The main enemy, the terribly-named Exdeath, is fighting against a sarcastic shit-talking turtle that has such lines as:
Ghido: "You think I sat around for seven centuries munching on pizza?"
Exdeath: "You will find no such tasty diversions in the afterlife!"
Now that I've thought about it a little longer, this is actually probably the greatest game of all time.
- E
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